Just a week ago I was doing okay. Then this week a phone call changed all that... He watched and waited, like a lion hunting a gazelle, for just the right time to pounce and leave me gasping for air. The morning was bright and promising of a peaceful day ahead. Nothing was really planned. I was looking forward to delighting in my kids. As I remained motionless in my shocking disbelief, painful, bleeding wounds that would take more than a band aid to mend, were heartlessly being penetrated forcing out what I had for so long limped through life carrying.
For months I have been urging my kids to daily put on the armor of God. We have read and prayed the text together.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:10-17.
Though I was prepared, I didn't expect him to pick me to attack, using whom he did and how, that day. I kept reminding myself that my fight is not with the person on the phone or with who initiated this, forgetting to pursue peace and to do all things in love. The enemy always puts a little bit of truth in his lies to make them believable. Also, I was reminded of how memory can't be counted on. Time, hurt, and life have a way of distorting it. I was determined to put my focus on Christ Jesus. He knew just how I was feeling. He was not surprised by the hunt. God had allowed it, knew I was strong enough to stand (even if I didn't), and would not leave me. It is during these times that I must choose to walk by faith. Choose to believe what God says. I must know the word in order to know the truth and not be deceived. The battle is the Lord's. I am asking Him to take this mess and restore. He can make it into something beyond what I had ever hoped or prayed for. He is the restorer, the wound mender. He is my healing ointment.
Whatever you are facing, remember, there is a God who created precious you that is on your side. Life is really hard sometimes, but He goes with you through it. He helps you catch your breath and binds up your wounds. The pain can either make you bitter or better. Your choice. I choose better. Oh God, help me to always choose better. If I don't turn to God, who else is there?
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